Not to Bother 👀

     

“Oh dear, don’t bother, just ignore!”

Hold on, I am not telling you to ignore what I wrote here, please read it completely.

“Just ignore”, is a commonly used phrase by many of our family members, friends, colleagues and well-wishers. We are often advised in this way if we have a tendency to react little more than how others react to certain situations.

Assume you are in a public place, let us consider a railway station, you are waiting with your luggage for the train to arrive. In the same place, assume that you noticed a family of 3 or 4 persons (husband, wife and kids) have come there and there are many other people around. You might be seeing the husband being very dominant and using abusive words in public just to make his wife follow the instructions for every simple thing. It would be very much embarrassing for that lady to get such instructions in a public place. However, she realizes the situation and may not be reluctant to obey the instructions.

As you were forced to witness such scenes, obviously you would feel disgusting to notice that, at the same time, you may feel like questioning that man as why he is behaving in an indecent way. But can you question him?

Of course, anyone in that situation can question him; it hardly takes a minute to question that man. What about the consequences after questioning, there are few probable reactions. (1)He may be rude and harsh to the person who questioned him, which would eventually trigger a quarrel. (2) He may remain silent for some time and release his frustration for being questioned by an outsider on his family members later on, etc. It actually varies with each person. We never know how things may turn up.

At this juncture, if it ends up in a heated argument, one might think that it would be better if I ignore such people and let it go.

Above example may look like a silly thing for you and me. How about the feelings of that woman? How would she feel? Isn’t it embarrassing for her? It is not just about that single incident; imagine how she is tolerating him all the time at home and in similar public places and in family functions?  What do the kids learn from such father?  Do you think that those kids will behave in a decent way when they grow up? Or will they follow the footsteps of their father?

If you discuss all these things with your friend or family member near you, they would simple suggest you as “Not to bother”.

Yes, we are forced to ignore some situations. If you are a sensitive person, it is very difficult to control your nerves. This often happens with many people. When we see some abnormal situation around us, we would feel like stopping it from happening. It is really good, if you can stop such unwanted incidents. But, do you think that it is always possible? Well, you know the answer, it is not possible always. If such unwanted situations arise within your family or your group of persons, you may have a chance to stop it, but not guaranteed. If you notice such incident in a public place like I explained, where you are not related to a group with whom that situation is actually related to, how can you control it? If u dare yourself to interfere, there is a high probability that you will be questioned as “Who the hell are you to Interfere?”

Then, what to do? Should we react or stop ourselves!

What would u say? In some cases you may manage and tackle the situation, there is a probable chance. Your interference may normalize the situation. If everything goes well, you would feel great.  Leave about the heroic feel you get there, you will feel satisfied at heart for a simple reason that you avoided an unwanted incident or saved someone from being embarrassed.

But it is not as simple as said; it is not possible always to settle the issue in which we are not supposed to involve. We have no option, we are forced to ignore and stop ourselves from interfering. 

Not to Bother?

Can we change this?

Many such questions are striking to me…..